Mikel Arteta has said Arsenal are "very disappointed" after their appeal over Max Dowman's red card at Fleetwood Town was dismissed but warned the teenager must adapt to top-level football because "otherwise we are in Disneyland."
The 16-year-old was sent off in Tuesday's Carabao Cup penalty shootout defeat after reacting to a strong challenge from Harrison Neal. Dowman will now serve a three-game suspension after the appeal was rejected by an independent panel.
Arteta was criticised in some quarters for his angry reaction to Dowman as he left the field. Speaking on Friday ahead of the weekend Premier League trip to Liverpool, Arteta suggested the pair had spoken about the possible provocation from the League Two side before the game.
"I haven't seen the reaction to my reaction [to Dowman], whether it is positive or negative," Arteta said.
He also went on to reference Dowman's second red card this month, having been sent off while playing for England's under-19s.
"But you need to understand the context, the relationship that I have with him and what we discussed just before we went out.
"I don't know. You can have a lot of reactions. If you see the reaction of my father and my mother with me, someday you will say, I don't like the reaction. For me, it was the best reaction ever to be able to be who I am. But you want to always see the best reaction and the beautiful one.
"You want to see the reaction of his teammates? When they have to play with ten, you want to see that?
"What do you expect? I don't know. And the England ones, they are his age, 16, the same. What is their reaction? That's the reaction. That's the level and that's the reaction. And whether it is right or wrong, that's the reaction.
"But the reaction when I don't win, you know what the reaction is? I'm p----- off, big time. So we need to be ready for that. This is the environment and this is the reality.
"Otherwise, we are in Disneyland. We are not in Disneyland. We are in the Premier League at this level and we look after him so much that you cannot imagine. But at the same time, we're going to demand him like anybody else because he needs to earn the right to play. Otherwise, the rest of the boys, what are they going to tell me? You need to be fair. Let's go."
Regarding the appeal, Arteta said: "Very disappointed, to be fair. Especially with the reckless tackles that he received, and then his reaction is minimal in relation to the action. Disappointed that it's not been overturned after looking at the action back, to be fair.
"It is what it is. We have put every argument on the table to make a case for it. Not only the action, obviously, that it's evident, and when you look it back in slow motion, the previous action and Max's action, it's clear that obviously we have a very different opinion.
"And on top of that, I think you have to read the context of the player, the age, and what happened previously."
Dowman has made just 18 senior appearances but broke a series of records in that time, including being the youngest player to win the Premier League, the youngest Premier League goalscorer and the youngest player in the Champions League.
All three earned him official Guinness World Records certificates earlier this month.
Arteta brought Dowman into the first team set-up last summer in Singapore, where he first featured against Newcastle.
"It was a very physical game and that's my fear and that's why I want to protect because if a player that weighs 95 kilos, 100 kilos, comes at 35 kilometres an hour to Max and hits a bone, I don't know what happens," he said.
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"So when we talk about protecting him, but the week before you were asking me why he's not playing every week when he's done really well against Everton, so we really [need to put] as well some perspective in every context of the player that we have, which is tremendous and leave it there and let him grow and let's protect him, all of us.
"We discussed a week ago how many players in the history of the Premier League have done what Max is doing and there isn't one. So it's something new and, as it's new, we'll do things well, I will do things well, I will do things not so well.
"I will try to learn as quick as possible, protect him as much as possible, but at the same time it's at the level that we are in and we are here to win football matches and to perform at the highest level, that's it."
Arteta confirmed that Declan Rice, Riccardo Calafiori and Christos Tzolis have all returned to training but Noni Madueke is a doubt and Bukayo Saka could be sidelined until after next month's international break with a quad injury.