Trigger Warning: This piece discusses rape and sexual assault and contains spoilers for "American Crime."
"Because I never said yes."
Those words hang in the air as the police question Taylor Blaine in this week's episode of "American Crime." This is the episode I've been waiting for. It could be the most important in the series. We hear both Eric Tanner's and Taylor's versions of event, further muddying the already murky waters in the confusing sea that is sexual consent.
Eric isn't going to admit to assaulting Taylor because he doesn't see it as an assault. His rationalization? Taylor sent him sexually explicit text messages. It's similar the classic, "she was asking for it" argument we too often hear about women and how they dress.
We also finally hear Taylor's true voice in this episode. He is open with the police about his desire for Eric. Taylor has never been more steadfast than in this scene. He says, "I never got to say yes. He gave me a drink, and I started to feel sick. I couldn't control myself. It was like I was watching. This happened to me. It was like I had to watch myself, and there's a door right there. There are people on the other side, they're right there, but they might as well be 1,000 miles away. I'm opening my mouth, I'm trying to say something, and I've got a hand over it. I've got something in it. It happened so fast, but it took forever to stop. And then he leaves me there."
Before this monologue, there is a presumption that Taylor is ashamed of his sexuality. But we need to remember that Taylor is not Eric. Eric is gay, and he is ashamed of that identity because of his warped sense of masculinity. We should not project that onto Taylor. Taylor displays no shame about wanting to be physically intimate, or about the text messages he sent Eric. He might be confused by his sexuality, but he is not embarrassed by it.
That is important.
It baffles the police. They seem to fall squarely in Eric's camp that it couldn't have been rape if Taylor desired Eric.
The issue of course is that Taylor's desire for Eric did not entitle him to Taylor's body.
It has been interesting on Twitter to watch viewers turn on Taylor after the text messages come out. It is easy to look at the situation and think that Taylor is embarrassed about his sexuality -- that he didn't want it getting out that he hooked up with Eric, so he lied about being assaulted. I don't buy that.
It's also easy to point to Taylor's girlfriend, Evy Dominguez, as his beard. I don't think she is. Taylor cares for Evy. She tells him that she doesn't care he's gay, and Taylor says, "I'm not." That's a crucial statement, too.
Taylor is confused. He is figuring out his sexuality. He might be gay, but he could just as easily be bisexual, pansexual or sexually fluid. He could be experimenting with what he likes sexually, and ultimately decide that he prefers to be with women.
But the bottom line is -- Taylor exploring his sexuality should in no way factor into his credibility.
As Evy says in her defense of Taylor to the police, "How many people have to say it's a rape before you care?"
Lines That Haunt Me
"You don't seem sorry." -- Police officer to Eric Tanner
"I never got to say yes." -- Taylor Blaine
"Was I a boy to you?" -- Evy Dominguez
Catch new episodes of "American Crime" on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on ABC.
Katie Barnes is a digital media associate at ESPN. Follow them on Twitter at Katie_Barnes3.