Serena Williams gave birth to a baby girl on Friday, somehow managing to upstage everyone at the US Open. Her fearlessness has driven her success on the court and helped make her role model for young girls and women everywhere. But her self-described doubts about becoming a parent might just make her a model for new mothers, too.
On Wednesday night's broadcast of the tournament's second-round match between Venus Williams and Oceane Dodin, ESPN announcer and tennis great Chris Evert noted a particular reservation Serena told her she has.
"She said, 'I'm actually a little bit nervous of the thought of putting someone before me, because my whole life all I've thought about is in terms of myself: my training, my work, my tennis,'" Evert said.
It seemed like a fairly innocuous comment in a larger discussion of the Williams family and the anticipation of the birth. But it's also an incredibly powerful statement of fear by one of the most powerful women in the world. It's not the first time she's expressed similar doubt, telling Vogue in August that she's "nervous about childbirth."
"I'm so used to me-me-me, taking care of my health, my body, my career," she said. "I always ask, Am I going to be good enough?"
It shows how humbling parenthood can be to even the greatest among us. Exhibiting doubts similar to those of other new moms brings Serena back down to earth.
This doubt sends an important message to the next generation of girls, Serena's new daughter included: It's OK for women to be selfish. I tweeted several of my thoughts on this, but let me expand on them here. It's extremely rare to hear high-profile women admit that their goals and ambitions are their top priority. This singular focus on one's self, one's career, one's pursuit of happiness, is a quality celebrated in men. That same drive is often discouraged in women, who are told we can and should "have it all." What that really means is that women are expected to be everything to everybody -- wife, mother, successful professional -- the embodiment of feminine selflessness.
Adhering to these norms is not what's led Serena to her remarkable success; you don't become the greatest at something without being selfish. Prioritizing her training and her career has led her to where she is now: at the top of her field. In her very subtle statement about putting herself first, Serena is reclaiming the idea that "selfishness" carries a negative connotation when applied to women, sending an important message to young girls that they are the protagonists in their own stories.
This very trait that might give Serena some doubt actually primes her for her new role as mother. Contrary to the fears of modern women that their jobs might conflict with their home life, research shows that women benefit greatly from being raised by working moms. According to a study by Harvard Business School, women whose mothers worked are more likely to hold high-level positions, earn higher wages and also spend more time with their own children. Aside from the demonstrated economic boon, researchers also point to the psychological benefits of kids learning that contributions inside and outside the home are equally important.
In other words, successful women make successful moms. And it's hard to find a woman more successful in her field than Serena Williams.
Inevitably, there are those men (and some women) who will ignore these facts and contend that Serena's doubts show that women are shirking their responsibilities as mothers, that the modern woman's skewed priorities have taken her away from her primary duties to her family, or something. These people long for a time when only one parent had to work, and romanticize the idea that spending time with your kids is the most important part of being a parent. This attitude at once tends to favor raising boys than girls while also weighing the needs of both parents unequally. Remember: Betty Draper was a terrible mother.
That's not to put outsized pressure on Serena to get it right from the start. She's noting one of many adjustments she has to make in her new role, just as every new parent has to make adjustments in one way or another. Nobody just becomes a model parent overnight, but her experience, steadfastness and success put her in a pretty good starting position.
Serena said something else to Vogue that shouldn't be overlooked about her trepidation approaching motherhood: "[T]he biggest thing is that I don't really think I'm a baby person. Not yet. That's something I have to work on."
Once again, with absolutely zero shame, Serena shares with us her realest feelings, defying the expectation that women are naturally born with maternal instinct and desire, and offers some solidarity with new and prospective moms who might not have always thought motherhood was for them. For those of us who don't see kids anywhere in our near future, it's refreshing to hear a prominent voice state that babies don't need to be a woman's long-term plan, but also that it's completely within her power to adjust that plan accordingly.
For now, we celebrate Serena's new role as mother and wish her a happy and healthy maternity leave, while also anticipating her return to tennis as a working mom. "I used to think I'd want to retire when I have kids, but no. I'm definitely coming back," she told Vogue.
While it may be ambitious to expect her to bounce back in time to defend her Australian Open title in January, this is a woman who won the major while secretly pregnant. Perhaps there was some foreshadowing there: "Two weeks after we found out, I played the Australian Open," she told Vogue. "I told Alexis it has to be a girl because there I was playing in 100-degree weather, and that baby never gave me any trouble. Ride or die. Women are tough that way."
There are none tougher than she, which will make her road back to the court fascinating to watch. Even her coach, Patrick Mouratoglou, gave her about two minutes to bask in baby glory before reminding her of the task at hand:
Btw @serenawilliams I wish you a speedy recovery... we have a lot of work ahead of us.
— PATRICKMOURATOGLOU (@pmouratoglou) September 1, 2017
She already has a goal in sight: chasing Margaret Court's all-time singles Grand Slam record. She only needs one more to tie, two for the record, and it seems the prospect of motherhood has motivated her.
"Obviously, if I have a chance to go out there and catch up with Margaret, I am not going to pass that up," she said. "If anything, this pregnancy has given me a new power."