The biggest narrative of the Olympics so far -- not related to doping, cupping or tweeting dramatic before-and-after pictures of the Slimer-colored diving pool -- is the story of American female excellence.
From Day 1, when Ginny Thrasher lived up to her name by wrecking the air rifle competition, the U.S. women have steamrolled these Games. The country's gymnasts have soared higher, its swimmers have stroked faster and one of its road cyclists ... won the time trial by several seconds.
Now, as the first full week of competition wraps up, it's the track athletes' turn to take a (hopefully literal) victory lap in Rio. At a press conference on Wednesday, Brittney "Beast" Reese, a laidback long jumper who won gold in London, said she's enjoyed watching the American women steal people's souls this week.
"It's been intimidating," Reese admitted. "But it's great to see the women dominate like we did four years ago. I feel like track will go in and handle business the same way."
The U.S. squad, which is teeming with more favorites than a timely, well-crafted tweet, appears poised to replicate the success of the 2012 Games. That year, the women won six gold medals. According to the 2016 world rankings released last month by the IAAF, there's at least one American woman ranked in the top three of 12 Olympic track events. U.S. runners posted multiple world-beating times at the Olympic track and field trials in Eugene, Oregon, this summer.
America's women's gymnastics team was eventually christened "The Final Five." Perhaps we should call the American female track stars the "Scintillating Sixty-Five." Or don't. Seriously, don't.
Reese, the long jumper, seems like a sure bet to win gold next week. In addition to finishing first in London, she's taken three world championships, most recently in 2013. The U.S. track team's marketing person introduced her as a "human wind chime" because she's won so much hardware. After suffering an injury in 2013, Reese bounced back big time, jumping 7.31 meters at the trials -- the longest distance posted by anyone since 2004.
When asked if she felt any pressure, Reese scoffed, flicking away the question like so many languid mosquitos. "I know what I'm capable of," she said. "If I go out there and do what I'm supposed to do, everything else will fall into place."
Allyson Felix, another 2012 gold medalist, confessed that she's still a little heartbroken over missing the cut for the 200-meter sprint since she won the event in the last go-round. "It'll be tough for me to watch," she said.
But Felix is favored by gamblers -- yes, you can bet on Olympic track and field -- to win the 400m race after she posted the second-best time in the world in Oregon after recovering from an injury.
"The U.S. has a high jumper, a shot putter, and a hammer thrower who could easily medal, or perhaps form some sort of crime-fighting unit. Simply put, this team is stacked." Mina Kimes
"I feel a lot better than at the trials," said Felix, who is eerily modest for a woman who could overtake Jackie Joyner-Kersee as the most decorated female Olympian in U.S. track history (they're currently tied at six medals apiece). "I feel confident that I'll be close to my best."
Medaling opportunities abound. While Jamaica's Elaine Thompson is favored to take the 100m race, a trio of Americans in English Gardner, Tianna Bartoletta and Tori Bowie barely lagged behind her this year.
All three women will probably race in the 4x100 relay, which America has a solid chance of winning next week. The U.S. women are also likely to take gold in the 4x400 relay, which Felix might be a factor in, but the rosters aren't set until last minute.
Nineties babies Brianna Rollins and Dalilah Muhammad, both first-time Olympians, own the world's top times in the 100m and 400m hurdles this year. Jenn Suhr, the world's reigning pole vault champion, recently broke her own record in the event. The U.S. has a high jumper, a shot putter and a hammer thrower who could easily medal, or perhaps form some sort of crime-fighting unit. Simply put, this team is stacked.
And then there's the delightfully confident Reese, who said her goal is to accomplish "three in one." Translation: she wants to win the Games, shatter the Olympic record, and break the world record.
"That's something I'm gunning for," Reese said.
No big deal, right?